Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Time for Some Senior Jokes to Brighten Your Day
Photo from myplace-home-family.com
The last couple of days, all I read in the news are nature's wrath of the East Coast starting with an Earthquate in Virginia then followed by Hurricane Irene that resulted in loss of 34 lives and a property damage in billions of dollars. I feel so depressed and needed to cheer myself, I decided to look at some of the senior jokes that I had received a fews years ago. The following four jokes are my favorites.
1. Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench and just bullshitting to pass the time. One turn to the other and says " John, I am 83 years old and I am just full of aches and pains. I know you are about my age. How do you feel?.
John answers, I feel like a new born baby. Really! ? Like a new born baby?
Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.
2. The boss walked into the office one morning not knowing his zipper was down and his fly wide open. His secretary walked up to him and said, This morning when you left your house, did you close your garage door? The boss said yes but was puzzled by the question. Later on, he noticed his fly was open and zipped it up and understood his secretary's question.
Later, he headed out for coffee and paused by his secretary desk and ask, When my garage door was open did you see my Hummer parked in there? She smiled and said No, I did not. All I saw was an old minivan with two flat tires.
3. Three old guys were walking. First one says, Windy, isn't It?
Second one says, No, its Thursday! Third one says, So am I, Let go get some beer. (I am really thirsty).
4. A little old man shuffled into an ice cream parlor and pulled himself slowly, painfully up into a stool. After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split.
The waitress asked kindly, " Crushed nuts? No, he replied, " Arthritis ".
I hope the above jokes made you laugh a little, in spite of the recent natural disasters in the East Coast. Let me know which one is your favorite, even if you are not yet a senior citizen.